Before I Fall by Joelle Lynne & Courtney W. Dixon

Author:Joelle Lynne & Courtney W. Dixon [Lynne, Joelle & Dixon, Courtney W.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: anonymous
Published: 2023-11-14T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 17

Simon

I’d spent most of the night tossing and turning with what Evan had said. His truth matched my observations. At first, I assumed I’d been projecting my want on him, but I’d been right after all. Not gonna lie. While his kiss surprised the hell out of me, I couldn’t stop fantasizing about it. And I really wanted to reciprocate, but I needed to be reasonable about it and not let impulsivity take control, not with this delicate situation. Evan and Remy had become special to me, so I needed to make sure I didn’t ruin things.

But as I mulled over why I turned him down, it all seemed inconsequential. Would I risk losing him and Remy if we didn’t work out? Possibly. But perhaps not. Ellie and I were still great friends, and we’d been married. Then again, we weren’t lovers. If Evan and I were honest with each other and communicative, maybe. And when I told Evan that Ellie would kill me, it was probably close to the truth, though she probably wouldn’t hate me or shun me. No doubt she would scold me and question my sanity, though.

But I doubted Evan wasn’t as confused as he claimed. He needed to be sure that his feelings were real. Hell, I needed to be sure. Was he really ready for someone else? Everyone grieves differently, but he hadn’t had much of a chance to grieve at all with having to be a father and working. But what did I know? I didn’t live in his head and heart.

Now, the very least I could do was be honest with him as he was with me. The awkwardness rolled off him in waves, no doubt still embarrassed about kissing me last night, and I hadn’t exactly made it easy on him. His entire body was rigid as he kept his eyes on Remy, doing tummy time on the floor and avoiding eye contact.

I turned my body on the couch to face him. “Look at me, Ev.”

He shook his head, and I smiled. I wasn’t sure how awkwardness became something cute, but it was on him.

“Evan, please.”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

There was no other choice than to spill it. I didn’t want to force him to engage.

“When I told you I recognized your interest in me, I didn’t tell you everything.” That got his attention. He looked at me with those wide, dark eyes filled with anticipation or dread. I couldn’t tell which. “What I failed to mention, because I’m a dumbass, was I’d been having similar feelings for you. I’d been shutting them down because we’re practically family, and Ellie scares me a little. Your aunt is as sweet as can be, but she bites, too.”

He blew out a laugh, and his shoulders relaxed. “You… feel the same? Really?”

“Really. All this time, when I thought you were showing interest, I assumed I was projecting it onto you. Clearly, I was wrong. I’m also afraid of what this means.

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